The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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