just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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