so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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