my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
