You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
