i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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