This girl is more easily done than said...
I just cut my nipple shaving
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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