had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize