there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
