Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
