if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
