i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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