you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He passed out mid-signature
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?