Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Right on... I dropped my chapstick

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I blacked out

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  (773): Right on... I dropped my chapstick (269): I blacked out http://tfl.nu/qsqj
  Replies (1) Good night (1091) Bad night (501)
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  (424): View more from California

  I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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  (424): I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick http://tfl.nu/5e2h
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.

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  (718): You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants. http://tfl.nu/n5jd
  Replies (11) Good night (2057) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language

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  (905): Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language http://tfl.nu/v1ob
  Replies (17) Good night (4408) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?

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  (760): What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch? http://tfl.nu/c2lm
  Replies (30) Good night (5228) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.

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  (516): A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood. http://tfl.nu/uye1
  Replies (39) Good night (1831) Bad night (7778) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons

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  (202): all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons http://tfl.nu/n087
  Replies (15) Good night (6253) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.

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  (813): Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age. http://tfl.nu/rqe0
  Replies (26) Good night (1313) Bad night (5384) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.

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  (813): She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus. http://tfl.nu/fd89
  Replies (19) Good night (7175) Bad night (991) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.

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  (309): with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone. http://tfl.nu/1pr2
  Replies (9) Good night (4021) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina

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  (410): If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina http://tfl.nu/8dig
  Replies (28) Good night (1246) Bad night (2483) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%

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  (778): Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25% http://tfl.nu/4mvy
  Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.

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  (231): Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted. http://tfl.nu/tphx
  Replies (29) Good night (1046) Bad night (3654) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline

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  (831): Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline http://tfl.nu/8i35
  Replies (9) Good night (386) Bad night (1016) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  how do you play pong handcuffed?

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  (919): how do you play pong handcuffed? http://tfl.nu/k407
  Replies (4) Good night (443) Bad night (227) Order T-Shirt

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