we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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