The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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