The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
