I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize