haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
