he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize