she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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