Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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