I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
