we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
