He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize