I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
