you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize