therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
