I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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