Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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