if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize