note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
