No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
