I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
