dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
