I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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