If that was your dad, he is hot
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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