She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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