HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
