So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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