my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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