i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
