I'm eating all of the evidence.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
