I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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