Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
