MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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