I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
