He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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