U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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