margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
