Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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