She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
