Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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