Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
