Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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