She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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