we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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