new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
