I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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