I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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