ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
