3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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