you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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