remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
