I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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