a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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