just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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