So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
