I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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