he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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