Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
