the condom got lost in my hair
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
