He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
